Posted by: Hannah | 06/14/2010

nuttier than a shithouse rat

We’re trying to sell deceased father-in-law’s car.  Scratch that. I’M trying to sell father-in-law’s gloomy, depressing, huge, gas-sucking, possibly-haunted car.  Hubby can’t seem to cope with the idea.  I had to buy “For Sale” signs and post an ad on Kijiji.  And I think he’s avoiding the phone when it rings, because somehow I’ve taken Every. Single. Call from every complete asshole who has so far called to try and talk the little lady down on price.

We’re asking $2500.  Considering that it was $50,000 when it was new, and that it was an old man’s pampered, babied, highway-driven ticket to independence and old-man booty, I don’t think that’s unreasonable.  But I will take $2000!  JUST OFFER ME $2000, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

So far I’ve been offered $1500 (and lectures) twice, and a laptop in trade.  That one was wacky.

And then Thursday night, 10:30, a woman called who actually rendered me speechless with her crazy.

This woman kept me on the phone for 37 minutes.  I know that she used to live out West, that she has two sisters and a brother, that she’s not close to her mother, that she’s on disability, and that her father had a car just like this one.  And that he died last year, and her mother sold the car without consulting her, and she’s been looking for a car like it ever since.

I also know that she is single, lives with a cat, doesn’t smoke, and enjoys a drink now and then.  That is an actual sentence, quoted verbatim.

Lady, I want you to buy the fucking car so my husband stops crying every time he looks out the front window.  I don’t want you to marry the goddamn thing.

Anyway, after listening to this crap for the aforementioned 37 minutes, she finally agreed to buy the car.  For $2000.  She gave me her full name (or someone’s full name, anyway) and we arranged a time to meet and conduct the sale.

She never showed up.

Or called.

I’m wondering now if she was a) drunk when she called the first time; b) so embarrassed by how much she poured out to total stranger that she couldn’t face me the next day; or c) just a complete weirdo who likes doing bizarre things instead of, say, watching TV.

I wouldn’t care so much if it was just selling a used car.  But it isn’t.  It really is causing a lot of stress for all of us, to constantly have that reminder of FIL sitting out front.  I would be happy to sell it for $500.  I don’t care – I just want it gone.  The money will just go into the giant tax bill for the estate anyway.  It’s not like we get to keep it and spend it on hookers and blow.

I’m also so resentful that hubby has once again stuck ME with this task – because it’s “too painful” for him – and yet isn’t allowing me to just do what needs to be done to get the thing gone.


Anyone want a car?


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