Posted by: Hannah | 07/05/2010

if this guy can have a baby, why can’t I?

My 18 year old cousin is having a baby next month.  I have only met her once (she lives on the west coast and we are not close with her branch of the family) and I was left with an overwhelming impression of a nice enough girl with no self-esteem, poor quality education, and a very unhappy home life.

No surprise I guess that the first guy who came along and told her she was beautiful became her whole world.

Anyway, they’ve been fighting through the whole pregnancy, on Facebook.  Which is how I know any of this.  I will never understand how little that generation values their privacy.  Or the feelings of their children, when they have them.  It culminated with my cousin telling everyone – through her status updates, oh my! – that her baby daddy was cheating on her.

Then my cousin’s older sister got in on the act, and started trying to “fix” everything, and so on and so on, which is how this little piece of marvelous ended up in my news feed today:

im not gunna get mad at her or nuthin like that i just need to no wut up ifshe told me the truth about wut happened and how many times whouldint you like to no if it happenexd to you well ya iwas really straiet forwed with her when we wher bye or selves but sorry and shes here if u wanna say hello , please text back ,

This, from the baby-daddy to his soon-to-be-born son’s aunt.

And I worry that I shouldn’t have a third child?

Ever seen the movie Idiocracy?  It postulates a future where mankind has become incredibly stupid, because educated & intelligent people are waiting too long to have children.  A sample from the opening narrated sequence:

“As the 21st century began, human evolution was at a turning point. Natural selection, the process by which the strongest, the smartest, the fastest, reproduced in greater numbers than the rest, a process which had once favored the noblest traits of man, now began to favor different traits. Most science fiction of the day predicted a future that was more civilized and more intelligent. But as time went on, things seemed to be heading in the opposite direction. A dumbing down. How did this happen? Evolution does not necessarily reward intelligence. With no natural predators to thin the herd, it began to simply reward those who reproduced the most, and left the intelligent to become an endangered species.

I realize I sound like an elitist snob right now but hey, my space my rules, right?  Better that than someone who spells “what” with no “H” and a “U”.



  1. Um. Are we related? Because I have (much younger) cousins who are constantly putting their relationship woes on their status updates and they are consistently full of grammatical and spelling errors and it makes me crazy.

  2. oh good lord I cannot DEAL with that shit. But I think most people use it cause it’s “the lingo” and not because they’re blithering idiots.

    At least, I hope so.

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