Posted by: Hannah | 08/01/2010

two days’ worth

July 30th, day 3 of the Project, was not a good day.  Felt very Boxing Day-ish here.  Both Things were cranky and overtired from a surfeit of birthday fun.  I was stiff and sore from a poor night’s sleep in an awkward position.  I had to put my credit card in the freezer because it turns out I am incapable of not racking up too much debt when I have one (I have a tendency to put car & home repairs on it; then I don’t pay it back right away with actual cash, and the next thing I know I owe four figures.  Again.  So, to the freezer.  This is incredibly embarrassing to me, and made me both unhappy and unpleasant most of the day).

The whole mess culminated in me losing my temper at Thing 1, for rampant perfectionism and setting too-high expectations for himself.  Which yes, of course, I know that I do.  It makes me miserable.  I don’t want him to do the same thing.  I have spent five years gently encouraging him to focus on the positive and on Friday night, blew my stack completely and in essence screamed at him to be happier.

Um.

Some days I feel like I am utterly fucking up this parenting gig.

Anyway, taking pictures that day seemed a monumental task, like rolling a boulder up a hill or clearing out my closet.  In desperation I asked the universe to send me something easy I could take a picture of, and lo, the universe provided:

Image 003:365

This moth was clinging to the front of my house right next to the door when I stormed outside for a few minutes to compose myself after The Big Blowup of ’10.  It waited patiently for me to go inside and get my camera, and snap a few pictures.  It was huge, and it’s head was so soft and furry-looking it took a deal of willpower not to try and touch it.  By the time I was done visiting with it, I had calmed down.  I brought Thing 1 outside so he could see it too, and thus all was forgiven.

****

Yesterday my parents took both Things for a sleepover, and hubby & I made solemn pact that we would a) not spend the day at home, retreating to our corners; b) not fuss about money; and c) not have any discussions about what we’ve started calling The Business of Running the Family™.  We spent the afternoon walking along the waterfront, reminding ourselves why we’ve chosen to make this city our home.  We ate dinner on a harbourfront patio (and took great glee in tearing apart the substandard meal with its overcooked seafood and pile of broccoli standing in as a “medley of seasonal vegetables”) and just acted like we used to back when we were just dating.

It was a good day.

Perhaps predictably, I took lots of pictures – feeling good = desire to create.

There was a square-dancing convention in town.  Honest-to-god square-dancing.  We kept seeing couples in their crazy gear wandering around hand in hand.  I couldn’t stop striking up conversations with them.  They were way cute.

This is a very old building downtown that’s being revamped as office space.  I was struck by the sharp lines and angles.  I actually really like this one.

Our view as we sat waiting for the fireworks to start.  In a word, it was a perfect evening.

Image 004:365

My choice for the 4th image of Project 365.  This came out pretty much as I’d hoped when I stopped in the pedway and looked up the street.  Yesterday I was all about geometry, it seems – angles, straight lines, and perspective were grabbing my attention.  Probably because without the Things in tow, I had time to stop and look at them.

Advertisements

Responses

  1. I love the moth. It made me think of this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peppered_moth_evolution.

  2. Wow can I ever relate…..some days (or weeks) are just hard…period. The business of running a family is harder than I ever thought possible.

    Sounds like you are headed in the right direction though. A night to ourselves almost ALWAYS helps….especially if you vow to actually go out and remember why it is that you fell in love in the first place! Sometimes the mind has a harder time remember that….but on those perfect nights (when you eat dinner at restaurant on the harbourfront, etc…) it all just clicks once again….even if it’s only but for a few hours.

    xox

  3. That moth shot is fantastic. It really is.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: