Posted by: Hannah | 09/13/2010

one week

The last few weeks have passed in a blur, a blur in which the following things have happened:

1. The Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Contract (with apologies to Judith Viorst) is finally finally FINALLY out of my life.  The phone was moved yesterday, boxes were picked up, things were transferred.  I’ve got to deliver some more boxes this weekend but that just means a lovely drive down the South Shore.  Of course then I woke up at 3AM thinking about all the things I may have done wrong, and fretting, and worrying.  If I had a hot tub time machine, I would totally go back in time and tell myself not to take that contract.  I feel like I have lost a lot of the ground I gained in therapy because I was essentially working for people who bullied, belittled, and tormented me for the last year.  It will take work – and time – to get back to some measure of self-confidence.

2. Thing #1 started grade primary.  (Is it called kindergarten everywhere but here, by the way?  Anyway, he’s five and gets on a big yellow school bus every day now).  He likes having new friends and seems to be making lots of them – a tremendous relief to me.  I did not make friends easily.  Hell, I still don’t.  I’d rather have a sociable kid than a super-bright one, if I had to pick.  I’m delighted that it appears I won’t have to.  He is, however, bored with the actual schoolwork.  He’s been able to recognize his letters since he was two and he can read simple words and short sentences now – so moving at the speed of the class is tedious.  He also came home in a state of high dudgeon one day because music class did NOT live up to his expectations; to wit, all they did was sing “Old MacDonald” instead of learning to play the violin. (??!!!??)  I know this will sort itself out one way or the other, but meantime I’m spending a lot of energy accentuating the positive – and looking for affordable music lessons outside school, because he seems genuinely keen to learn.

3. Thing #2 is having a hard time adjusting.  He seems to like being home with mama all day, and he’s getting right in there helping me with the household chores, but he is anxious for Thing #1 to come home.  Right up until he does, and then it’s screaming and fighting and brawling and whining until bedtime.  He hasn’t slept quietly the night through since school started.  We went to a barbeque on Saturday and he insisted on taking not only a “pack-pack” but a lunch bag too.  He tells anyone who will listen that his birthday is soon, and he will be five.  Oddly, he is still showing absolutely zero interest in toilet training, despite all of us including big brother gently explaining that toilet training=school (or preschool, anyway).  I’m trying not to pressure him but I am getting good and goddamn sick of changing his diapers.  Especially since he eats like a teamster and likes to go off and hide when he poops.

4. Project 365 has, for me, been a non-starter.  I admit it – I completely dropped the ball.  I have a bunch of pictures, but not enough, and I take pictures in bunches, so some days I’ll take loads and then I won’t get inspired for a week or more.  When I started I was hoping to get inspired to think about the pictures I was taking, and try new things.  And I’ve done that – but I haven’t been keeping up with everyone else’s pictures, and that’s just uncool.  So I’m withdrawing, with a tip of the hat and a “best of luck” to the others still in the game.

5. Last but not least, I once again fit into a pair of pre-baby jeans!  This I discovered last week when I was at the corner store buying milk.  I was wearing a pair of jeans I bought this spring – and they actually fell off as I walked. My hands were full so I couldn’t grab them to hitch them up; something I’ve apparently been doing unconsciously for weeks.  So, I need to go shopping.  I have exactly two pairs of casual pants that fit; I bought them a year before I had Thing #1; and say hey and by the way, they are THE SAME PANTS IN DIFFERENT COLOURS.  Black cords and brown cords, can I get an amen.  Yeesh.  Anyone out there wanting to nominate me for What Not To Wear, I will kiss your feet.  After I rub them lots with oils and unguents.  I’m serious.  Today I am wearing the black cords (which are really more grey at this point, and have frayed cuffs because I don’t haz sewing skillz so I don’t hem pants, I just walk on them); one of my husband’s sweaters because I donated all of mine last fall when they were too small and now I have nothing warm to wear; and green “wicked good” slippers from LL Bean.  AM DRESSED LIKE A BAG LADY. OR MY MOTHER CIRCA 1984. SEND HELP.

(Of course, this is a nice problem to have.  I have several times in my life needed to buy a completely new wardrobe because I got too fat to wear the one I had.  I have never ever needed to buy one because I was too small for everything.)

My first extra kid comes today.  Sweet little fellow, not quite nine months old.  A dear.  Hoping for more and that all goes well.



  1. It sounds as if things are looking up everywhere. Except your pants, of course. They seem to be continuing their downward trend. Good for you.

  2. […] Read this article: one week « Hodgepodge & Strawberries […]

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