Ever just wish you could accidentally-on-purpose get pregnant so you didn’t have to actually sit down and commit to a decision?
Yeah, it’s like that up in here.
I have two more solid leads for child care. If they come through, I’m officially at capacity – under provincial regulations you can have six children under 5 years old or eight school-age children under your care without a license. And since getting a license would require me to submit monthly meal plans, my child development philosophy and a community needs assessment, that’s not something I want to do.
Plus, you know, six kids all day long is enough for anyone, unless you’re a Duggar and have older kids and Jesus to help you.
The deal always was that if I could generate enough income to keep us in the modestly upper-lower-middle-class lifestyle that we’re accustomed to, we could have another baby. I want another baby. I thought hubby did too. Certainly he never seemed against the idea in principle and could only ever throw monetary concerns at me as an objection.
Now he’s waffling. Which is ungood, because part of The Plan hinges on him taking at least three months of parental leave when the still-imaginary baby is born to help with the other kids.
I know that if we had another baby he would love it, even though there would be a few months where things were tough. I know that if we don’t have another baby, I will regret it – I’m getting the baby fever big time lately, and would happily get knocked up right now if I could.
But, I have The Device. I got it because I’m terrible at remembering to take medications, and am also super-fertile. (Yes, I am. The time between going off the pill and conceiving Thing #2 was less than two weeks. And Thing #1 was conceived on our wedding night because, and I’m quoting here, “If you can’t go bareback on your wedding night, when can you?” Ahem.) So, accidental pregnancies are not only statistically nearly impossible, but also dangerous if they do happen.
*sigh* Stupid modern medicine.
P.S. I’m not actually rushing to get pregnant this instant – I’d like to have the kids here for a few months so I can get into a routine, and also see how likely it is that I’d be able to cope with a newborn & a herd of other children who aren’t mine. I can already see that breastfeeding could be very difficult unless I can get one of those carry-it-around-pillow-thingies that I saw Michelle Duggar using (yes, I have a love/hate relationship with her, a bit. And she did manage to breastfeed exclusively while riding herd over the other seventeen kids). Or, if I could nurse while the baby was in a sling. Except I’ve never been good at that because my boobs are too big.
P.S. # 2 Why yes, I do have light OCD, in that it’s controllable but I obsess constantly about things that haven’t happened yet.
P.S. #3 This makes me difficult to live with, but also means that my house is always organized.
P.S. #4 Ha.