Posted by: Hannah | 09/30/2011

26 weeks

Checked my handy-dandy “how many weeks pregnant am I?” website calculator, because otherwise I wouldn’t know. I mean, I know my due date, but ask me how far along I actually am and my jaw goes slack, my eyes start twirling, and I chant maniacally “M-O-O-N that spells pregnant!”

I am not good at keeping track.

So, 26 weeks exactly. Or, 98 days from my due date. Or, holy shit people no more pissing about it is time to actually make a room for the baby instead of an empty space with nasty carpet and unassembled crib pieces.

Last night hubby, in a moment of playfulness, tried to give me one of his patented “here is my penis, it will bump against you now” hugs. Instead, he hit my stomach first and was stopped dead in his tracks. The look on his face was rather hilarious (sadly, also a total mood-killer. Late second trimester sex is an exercise in patience, bodily contortions, and manfully closing one’s eyes and thinking of England.)

We’re so busy in our day to day lives that neither one of us is really, truly cognizant of how much time is passing, of how close we are to being parents of three instead of two.

Which is, I suppose, the curse of the third child. We did finally settle on names (no, you’ll have to wait until the baby comes, I have some pretty deep-seated superstitions about the baby knowing it’s name before anyone else does). I’ve sheepishly emailed some people that I loaned gave Ican’t remember what I said baby clothes to in the misty OMG COLIC JAMES WTF BBQ NO MORE BABIES days, asking if they have any of it left and if so, if I can have it back so the baby doesn’t come home from the hospital wrapped in a flour sack. But even still, despite the pain in my pelvic region and the fact that putting on my own socks this morning required a three-point turn and careful planning, it all seems a bit unreal.




  1. i think pregnancy is a fascinating exercise in surreal identity stuff…very exciting to watch from the outside, though. 🙂

  2. I AM GOING FRENCHY SHOPPING FOR YOUR BABY!!! The baby bin is the first when I enter the place and Mom and I always look at each other and try to think of ANYONE we know we could use as an excuse to take home the cute little onsies and sleepers.

  3. “his patented “here is my penis, it will bump against you now” hugs.” I love it!

    Yes, sex during pregnancy does take on a certain je ne sais quoi, what with the awkwardness and thinking of England.

    My girlfriend with four children had decided they were done! Finished! That’s it! after the second. She had to re-purchase everything, including baby furniture. Eeep.

  4. HA! This post made me laugh out loud. Please note that I wrote out the whole phrase and not merely LOL. I’m classy, doncha know.

    It is true that toward the latter bits of pregnancy one needs to put their Horga’hn away or else get creative. And now anyone not fluent in Trek-speak is confused. Or titillated. Or scared. Yes, most likely the latter.

  5. Interesting hug name. 🙂

  6. I’m kinda floored by your 26 weeks, too!

  7. Ah, but don’t forget that at this stage, you can beat anybody in a belly-bumping contest, because your belly is ROCK HARD. I totally used to attack people with my fetus.

    PH loved the pregnant belly. I’m not sure if that was a good thing, or not :-p

  8. Oh! Oh! Reference to The Stand! And you’re funny. Yeah, I sort of enjoyed getting to the ‘fuck with me and I will eat you’ belly stage.

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