Posted by: Hannah | 10/26/2011

little miss bossypants

It’s only 9:30 and I’m already really, really tired of being bossed around by the two little girls in my care today.

This is a broad, sweeping generalization with absolutely zero basis in studies, statistics, or compelling evidence beyond my own limited experience but GIRLS ARE FREAKIN’ BOSSY.

Both Marie and the Monkey have got very definite opinions about everything, and they don’t hesitate to share. The Monkey says everything in a loud screechy voice, always talking about herself in the third person and repeating herself ad nauseam. Case in point: she is sitting next to me right now with a crayon and a colouring book. She is yelling. “Monkey colour book! Monkey crayon! Monkey draw fish! Monkey sit! Monkey sit chair!” That last one really appealed to her so she just. keeps. saying. it. Except I’m not reacting anymore, because otherwise it would go like this:

“Monkey sit chair!”

“Yes, Monkey is sitting in the chair. You are sitting in the chair.”

“Monkey sit chair!”

“Yes, Monkey is sitting in the chair. You are sitting in the chair.”

Repeat. Forever.

So I started ignoring her. She just started bellowing my name every time. Louder and LOUDER and LOUDER until my poor head could explode.


Marie and Very Quiet Boy were playing together. Marie directs the play which works out just fine, because VQB can’t / won’t play with other children unless someone else takes the lead. At least, it works out just fine until Marie decides that VQB isn’t doing it right, or something, and the loud declarative voice comes out. It’s especially confusing to him because she seems to have no interest in learning our names; she calls me “Mama oops” and then stares at me until I remind her what my name is. She knows all the names involved but doesn’t care to attach them to actual people, so she’ll just pick whatever name is on her mind and get insulted when the child she’s actually talking to ignores her completely. Then her hands go on her hips, her bottom lip sticks out, and she loses the ability to speak in complete sentences. “NO! Wrong! This! This now! Stop! Go!” until VQB gave up and asked me for a colouring book, too.


I’m already toying with the logistics of putting them all down for a nap at the same time today – usually the older kids go a little later just as the Monkey is getting up, and there isn’t more than a half hour break where things are quiet and peaceful. Today is the worst day yet in terms of post-accident pain; my lower back feels encased in concrete, my sacroiliac joint has flared up again, and I have a throbbing headache that the Tylenol I’m permitted to take isn’t having much of an effect. So I’m perched here with an ice pack, trying my best to be engaged and interested without actually moving a whole heck of a lot. I checked with my insurance company and the lost wages coverage is a grand total of $140 per week split between both policy-holders, so a day off isn’t really practical unless my ability to provide safe care is compromised too much.


Really, being bossed around by children who still need to be reminded to go the bathroom on a regular basis is just too much, right now.



  1. Yes, I find that girls are more bossy than boys. I think — and this is my completely unsubstantiated, biased opinion — this behaviour is tolerated/fostered because their guardians think it’s “spunky” or “charming” or plays against gender stereotypes. It’s rude and boring. Especially when it’s accompanied by high-pitched squealing. But I’m sure the parents of girls find the constant use of onamonapia by boys, equally obnoxious.

    I love when you write about the day home kids. It’s like your an anthropologist! Sorry to hear of your accident-woes. Take care of yourself.

    • I think you’re right about parents of girls confusing / conflating confidence with obnoxious behaviour. That feels right to me. Of course I haven’t raised any girls of my own so maybe I’m wrong… but I was thinking that when I wrote it. I just figured I was making enough sweeping generalizations for one morning…

  2. My advice: Yes! Synch those naps! A well-schedule naptime is the caregiver’s sanity.

    I had a kid like that, who narrated Every Single Moment of his day (it was a boy), and, like yours, INSISTED that I respond to Every.Single.Utterance. Oh lordy, it was beyond tedious…

    • “Beyond tedious” – yup. It makes my head hurt. Not to mention it interrupts their creative play to constantly stop and tell me what just happened. I don’t get the appeal.

  3. Yes. Girls are bossy. Hell, I’m bossy and I’m sure I was as a little girl too. Last year Jake was one of only three boys in kindergarten and – since he’s super cute and funny (just my humble opinion of course) the girls would all practically tear him limb from limb in the playground. “JAKE COME WITH ME!” “NO JAKE PLAY WITH ME!” It was sort of cute because he had one of those shrugging guy responses “Okay, whatever, I’ll be the prince/knight/dragon” until one day he was like “I DON’T WANT TO PLAY THAT!” It was quite startling to the girls!

    I hope you start feeling better soon. $140/week – what the hell is the use of insurance anyway!

  4. My daughter is still young, but I’d say that my son was the bossier one at this age. Maybe it’s a first child thing? I dunno. My daughter is such a pleaser whereas my son is a leader. I think that’s where the difference is.

    I completely forgot that you probably wouldn’t be able to take a day off after your accident! That’s terrible. I can’t even imagine. 😦

  5. This kid sounds a lot like the vet I work with.

    But cuter.

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