Posted by: Hannah | 10/28/2011

dancin’ machine

Harry’s school had their annual family Hallowe’en dance last night. Only two years in and I already dread it – if I could just drop him off at 6:30 and pick him up an hour later it would be awesome, but the PTA wants it to be a family event and so… I stay. Perhaps when all the children are older and we can do some kind of themed costume it will be more fun (there was a family last night dressed as four of the Fellowship from Lord of the Rings. Most. Awesome. Costume. EVER. and all homemade, too!) but for now Ron refuses flat-out to even consider going because it’s too scary and so one parent needs to lose the toss.

And so – the family Halloween dance.

Observations made from Snark Corner (population: me) at the family Halloween dance:

  1. I know that it’s tough to buy costumes for women that aren’t Slutty _______, but for a dance at a school that only runs to grade five, please try. I’m not a prude really, but I don’t want to see that much of your boobs and bottom-ass. Thanks.
  2. Same goes for over-the-top scary. Good for you – you terrorized a bunch of five year olds and their younger siblings with your (admittedly cool) zombie costume. But maybe save the bloody rubber arm you’re munching on for actual trick or treating, OK?
  3. If your ten year old daughter is *also* showing too much proto-boob and bottom ass, and spends the entire hour running through the halls looking for some kid named Simon, requiring one of the volunteer chaperones to be deputized to basically follow her around all night – you need to rethink your parenting just a bit.
  4. Watching parents in their 30s trying to teach their embarrassed children the ‘right’ steps to Thriller is freakin’ awesome.
  5. No one on earth would go out for Halloween dressed as a pregnant woman. Yes, that belly actually has a baby in it. Please adjust your walking path accordingly and stop crashing your elbows / lightsabers / plastic swords into it.                                                                 5. (a) Yes, I’m really pregnant, and no, you can’t pat my belly before you even introduce yourself. Uncool.
All that aside, Harry had fun, which was the important thing. His ‘girlfriend’, a girl ONE YEAR OLDER, SHE’S IN GRADE 2, MOM, latched on to him immediately… which seemed all cute and innocent up until I saw obsessive-about-boys shrieky girl and then I thought hold on, that’s only FOUR YEARS AWAY.
When I came home, I had a very small glass of red wine. I’m pretty sure I earned it.


  1. It’s our school’s dance tonight and I have a feeling I *may* be more excited about it than you were. Um. THERE’S GOING TO BE A FLASH MOB.

  2. Hehehehe. I lurve you and your Snark Corner.

  3. I can only imagine the prostitots parading around a Halloween children’s dance.

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