Posted by: Hannah | 11/02/2011

did you hear the one about…

Listening to the table conversation of kids is alternately funny and horrifying.

Marie, Arthur, and Ron are all taking an interminable time to eat their lunches today (we’re creeping up on 45 minutes today with no end in sight). And why? Because Arthur lately has been claiming that he has nightmares every night, and he wants to share them. In excruciating detail and at great length.

If he’s having nightmares, I’ll eat my hat. Further, if he’s having nightmares that all end up with him, Iron Man, and Optimus Prime saving the universe, I will be super-impressed, because four year olds can’t usually manage lucid dreaming.

Anyway, the conversation so far has included:

  1. Transformers
  2. Iron Man
  3. Talking Penises (please don’t ask)
  4. Talking Beets (yes, the vegetable. That was Marie’s effort to be a part of the conversation).
  5. Diego
  6. Various and sundry baby animal noises
  7. Poop (always a classic)
It’s like they are in a college frat, or something.
At least they’re playing together well today. Monday was not a good day for Marie; she refused to join in anything, pouted all day long, and started crying for her parents a full 90 minutes before they were due to arrive. I was braced for miseries today, especially since the other big kids were at preschool, but she played happily with The Monkey all morning and has been a delight, frankly.
I just hope she doesn’t go home and tell her parents about the talking penises.


  1. Are they making really squeaky and high pitched baby animal noises? I have actually banned talk about baby animals at the table because otherwise my head will explode.

    • Arthur is completely incapable of getting through a day without making high pitched baby animal noises. Like, there is no way. I’m trying to be patient even though I hate it like fire because his mom is having a baby sometime in the next three weeks, and I think he’s working through it by making everything (including his apple slices today) into talking babies.

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