Yesterday, I may have committed the worst tactical error of my dayhome career.
(Man, I can’t wait until Hubs’ parental leave starts. I’m getting stupider, slower, and less patient with each passing day.)
Monkey’s toilet training hasn’t progressed terribly well. Her parents won’t put her in underwear, so it’s been really random; some days she’s great, some days she’s not.
Just this week though she’s suddenly started going to the bathroom by herself. Mixed results and pee everywhere, but she’s really showing initiative with the whole thing. And I want to encourage her. And also her poop diapers are just eyebrow-curling experiences and I’d really like to see the end of them.
So I made my mistake.
After she peed in the potty basically on her own for the fourth time today, I asked if she needed to poo… and then said I would give her a little treat when she did.
Yes. I actually did something so stupid as to offer a treat to a 25 month old for completing a task at some point in the future.
You see what I mean? My judgment is clearly flawed.
Monkey’s big brown eyes lit up. “Treat? I want treat! Auntie Hannah I gedda TREAT!”
me: “Yes, when you can go poo in the potty, I will give you a treat.”
Now, repeat the above conversation fifty times, only in your head make sure her lines are getting more and more hysterical, shrill, and declarative with each repetition. Add in some foot-stomping and hair-tossing. Make sure to include threatening hand gestures – because when Monkey is thwarted, she presses her thumb and forefinger together, makes her body completely rigid, and then points at you in threatening fashion with her stabby hand.
Now imagine three solid hours of a small child taking herself to the bathroom, making elaborate grunting noises, and yelling “I poop inna potty Auntie Hannah!”… every ten minutes or so… even though she never actually did successfully poop in the potty.
She’s got an incredibly long memory, this kid. I fear I may have set myself up.
Either that, or I’m a freakin’ genius and she’ll be trained by the time she comes back on Tuesday. It remains to be seen…