Posted by: Hannah | 05/10/2012

conflicted

Someone asked me recently if it’s hard not to play favourites in the dayhome. “If there’s an argument between your kid and one of the extra kids”, she said, “do you always assume your kid is in the right?”

She was genuinely curious, not trying to accuse me of anything. I thought about it and replied “well, you kind of have to think of all of them as your own kids. At least, I do”.

And it’s true. With a couple of notable exceptions, I grow to love the kids in my care. I get to know their likes and dislikes, I delight in their triumphs and am saddened when they fail. When they move on, I miss them terribly.

Last night I interviewed a family looking for full time care for their two year old son. I know the parents from school and baseball; they have three kids as well and are lovely, easy-going people with professional careers. These are the kinds of clients I’ve said I want, and they came to me when their current dayhome gave them three weeks’ notice of closure. Nothing’s decided yet, but if they want the space I will have to use my “bump” clause and give notice to Molly & Luna.

I’m feeling terrible about this.

Luna in particular has settled in so well, after her initial struggles. She loves me, and just this week has really started to show it. She’s having fun and doing great, and the thought of uprooting her now makes me feel guilty and sad.

It’s the right decision for me and for the business, and hey! it may not even happen! but that didn’t stop me from feeling wistful every time I looked at her wee face today.

Sometimes, this gig really sucks.

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Responses

  1. Aw. I hate those kind of hard decisions. You know it’s the right decision – but it is so difficult to make it.

  2. Ugh. Yeah. It’s like the universe is just fucking with you. Eve only went to day care one day a week and I totally felt like Kathy loved her. Of course there was one really unpleasant little girl – I half suspected her OWN mother couldn’t possibly love her, never mind Kathy. Oh, that was unkind. But true. It must be really hard.


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