Posted by: Hannah | 11/22/2012

stream of consciousness

Today was weird because the one kid in the dayhome who didn’t cry was Luna.

That’s because Murphy’s Law is a real thing. Either that, or knowing that there is an end in sight has somehow filled me with radiant powers of calm and marvelousness that take away her anxieties and make her a pleasant & engaging child.

Both Louis and Pixie had screaming meltdowns in my front entryway at pickup time, for the second day in a row. It’s lovely. And by lovely I mean stop reasoning with your tantruming toddler, just dress their recalcitrant ass and GO HOME.

I used to close at 6PM. When Baby G was born I moved my closing time up to 5:30, and it’s a damn good thing, because between Louis screaming and kicking his mother, Pixie refusing to put on her boots but not ‘allowing’ her mother to put them on, either, and Arthur & New Baby Girl’s mom pulling up a chair so she can chat, the last one isn’t out the door until 5:45, usually.

Today was the usual grind of wiping noses – I’ve commented on a couple of blogs this week that if snot were diamonds I would be a millionaire – and poop explosions and Louis’ continued refusal to remember my two cardinal rules: stop whining and share the toys. However, New Baby Girl started walking really well today – she’s been doing the one or two steps thing since last week, but all of a sudden today it was the full-on toddler drunken lurch that I find so hilarious. My aching back thanks her for making the effort.

(I know, she still needs a name. None of the suggested ones fit. Honestly, now that I know her personality, I’d go with Hurricane Hattie except it’s too long. She’s VERY destructive. Beloved books – even board books – have been trashed. She asks the other kids for hugs and then knocks them down. She upends buckets of toys just for the sheer joy of hearing the crash. Put her outside though and she sits in one place, overwhelmed. Her mom doesn’t care to take young kids outside and just let them explore.)

Oh! The bulk of my Christmas shopping is done, because I did it online. My credit card is melted around the edges and now I’m waiting in a dither for things to arrive, but all in all, I THINK THE MALL IS DEAD TO ME. So easy. And such neat stuff you can find if you look.

Also! I had a wee breakdown on the weekend about how messy the house is, all the time. Not the dayhome, it’s actually pretty tidy & clean, but the part of the house that we actually live in. I was keeping on top of things – just barely – but then came New Baby Girl and hey! she doesn’t like to have her afternoon nap until 2PM! Which is a whole hour later than the start of regulation naptime! And only 40 minutes before the big kids get home from school! Meaning that every day I had – if I was lucky – 40 minutes to eat some lunch, make dinner for that evening, try to clean something, and maybe have a pee without two or three kids banging on the door and yelling at me to come out. I was managing dinner but nothing else.

So Michael offered, once again, to pay for someone to come in a couple of times a month to do the time-consuming gross jobs; deep-cleaning the bathrooms, washing the floors, that kind of thing. I found myself having to explain why the idea of paying someone to clean my house gives me hives. (That’s a post for another day). Anyway, the long and the short of it is that Michael and I between us made several meals on Saturday & Sunday for use during the week, and during my precious free minutes I could focus on getting ahead of the mess. It’s now Thursday, which is when the house is normally starting to look very problematic indeed, and things are… tidy. Not perfect, there are still some spots that need a declutter, but the floors are washed, the bathroom is clean, the laundry is pretty much caught up, and you don’t have to shove junk out of the way to sit in the living room.

People want to know what makes a sexy man? A man who will spend the weekend cooking so that you can continue to have anxiety-based hangups about hiring housekeeping help. A man who has promised to do the same thing every weekend.





  1. You’re not wrong. On your way, Daniel Craig. Oh, unless you feel like cooking? Fine, you can stay.

    You are my hero, Hannah. Truly.

  2. If you want to carry on w/ the Harry Potter theme I suggest Dolores Umbridge? Madam Hooch, maybe?

    We do make ahead meals and it’s a great time saver since every single activity my kids are in occurs just before dinner time. ARGH!

  3. Gale – since you suggested Hurricane Hattie but it was too long. A gale is a very strong wind. So try Gale or Gayle if you want to use an actual girls name. For New Baby Girl I am talking about here.

    • That is actually a very good suggestion.

  4. I like Hattie as a name.

  5. How about Pippi? Just because I think it’s cute. Or Daisy? As in “that’s a daisy” – like Pa says when there is a very bad blizzard YES I’M READING THE LONG WINTER AGAIN WHAT OF IT?

    A very large percentage of my friends have cleaning ladies. I guess I should say cleaning services but they are all ladies, so cleaning ladies it is. I can’t even think about having a cleaning lady. I could write a whole goddamn post on it, but suffice it to say that I just CANNOT HIRE SOMEONE TO CLEAN MY HOUSE. Not that I begrudge my friends their CL’s, but not for me.

  6. We often had someone who would help with cleaning while I was growing up. I cleaned for two families for pocket money when a young adult, and would employ someone to clean if our situation changed and we needed it and could afford it. So, I’m very curious to hear why you’re so anti it.

    That said, a husband who will cook on weekends so weekday evenings go more smoothly is a swoon-worthy keeper.

    • It’s entirely because of my neuroses, and also my introversion (I’m suspecting now more the latter than the former). The thought of having someone in my home, cleaning & touching my things on a day that I have to pick well in advance, actually causes my palms to sweat. What if on the scheduled day I can’t face it? Then what? Which is, I recognize, irrational, but a very strong feeling nonetheless. I also – and this is all me, not Michael at all – feel that keeping the home is part of my roster of responsibilities, at least while I’m working at home. That’s got more to do with how self-critical I am than anything else.

      All that said, in the past couple of weeks things have settled down considerably. I’ve got Daisy napping at the same time as the other children, and with most meals prepared in advance I can use my quiet time in the afternoons to keep ahead of the chores. I’m sticking with ‘clean one room per day’ as my method, rather than whirling around trying to do everything. The house is generally cleaner than it’s been since before I got pregnant with G.

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