Posted by: Hannah | 12/12/2012

surly Thursday, one day early

With apologies and thanks to Allison at Bibliomama, who coined the phrase “Surly Thursdays” while we were both struggling to complete NaBloPoMo last month.

First off, Baby G got up at 5:17AM, which is not unusual for him, but is starting to hurt me a lot, because to me ‘morning person’ means ready to face the day at 6:30, not so early in the morning that there is still bad porn available for viewing on some cable channels.

I woke up with a head full of snot and a sore throat. NONONONONONO.

So I got up, and really all Baby G wants at that hour is to be cuddled, so he can continue a light sleep for another hour or so. But he doesn’t want to cuddle lying down, because that’s too much like actual sleeping. I have taken to watching Chopped on the Food Network between 5 and 6 while I hold him at the precise correct angle, because it isn’t naked, or trying to sell me a weird product like the Shake-Weight or that thing that hard-boils eggs for you without all that tedious peeling.

Chopped was unsatisfying this morning, because it was the ‘holiday fare’ special. The entree basket had a whole turkey, marshmallows, kale, and turnip. Which YUCK. If you’ve never seen the show, they have 45 minutes to incorporate those ingredients into a meal, and even with that insane time constraint the judges had the nerve to give two of the three contestants grief for not including dark meat with their plates.

I don’t care how good an oven you have, eating dark turkey meat that’s cooked for at most 35 minutes is playing a dangerous game. Merry Christmas, I brought you some salmonella. Just like Martha Stewart.

Then one of the chefs decided to make a roulade with the turkey breasts, which I thought was very clever, but then for the stuffing he used whole marshmallows and some sauteed kale, and somewhere several chefs died suddenly from the sheer awfulness of it.

Skip ahead to drop-off time, and Pixie literally wrapped herself around her mother’s ankles while screaming “DON’T LEA’ ME HEAH MOMMY NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” so of course her mother, being a smart lady, left. And Pixie plastered herself to the front door for a while, then flung herself on the floor and threw a full-on foot-kicking tantrum. Not the last one she ended up throwing this morning. So. Many. Tantrums. Including one because the slide in the backyard had some frost on it (yes, she was wearing snowpants); one because Luna said “no” when Pixie used the word ‘share’ in the ‘give me that toy you have right now’ sense; and one for no reason at all.

Baby G refused to nap this morning, as did Daisy. I’m still puzzling over that one; they are not sick, the house was a comfortable temperature, and they are both usually pretty good nappers – but nothing doing. Baby G just refused to sleep at all, whereas Daisy went out like a light but then woke up again in a sweaty panic not even half an hour later. They were then ill-tempered and screamy all morning.

Tomorrow is Luna’s last day, so naturally this week she’s decided that I am an altogether delightful person, and has been asking me for hugs & kisses with great regularity. I realize her parents were planning on leaving anyway due to financial considerations but for heaven’s sake, universe, WTF?

Ron came home from preschool brimming over with tales of the snack his friend’s mom made them for a “special Christmas treat”, including sandwiches shaped like Rudolph with pretzels for antlers and red peppers for noses, and individual snowmen made of banana chunks and chocolate chips. Normally I actually feel kind of sorry for those moms, but today I just felt like a big fat failure who has served the same muffins for morning snack every day this week because the recipe made so damn many.

Speaking of fat, I am fat. When eating my feelings, carrot sticks do not seem to help.

Finally got through lunch, storytime, and had everyone settled for a nap. The house was still. I made a salmon casserole for supper and had my hand on the kettle to make a cup of tea when Baby G woke up. Screaming. After 30 minutes.

I did eventually get him settled back down again, but it was almost a further half-hour of screaming before he was finally quiet.

Then the phone rang. I dove for it to keep the noise from waking Baby G again. In diving for it I lost my footing and fell against the receiver, which promptly dropped into the dog’s water bowl.

I fished it out. It was a robot telemarketer trying to convince me that 0% interest is a thing that banks will actually charge on credit cards. I was briefly tempted to drop it back into the water.

Time to meet the bus! Oh, I will check the mail, I’ll bet there are Christmas cards and things, that’s happy.

But I couldn’t find my keys, so that was out.

Then Over-Sharing Neighbour bitched and complained for a while because her man’s work Christmas party is tonight and they have a sitter, but she doesn’t want to go.

Then Harry started complaining as soon as he got off the bus because he didn’t get to sit where he wanted for the five-minute bus ride.

Then Baby G was awake again & screaming when I got back in the house.

Now, everyone is awake. Mercifully, the babies seem to be in better moods, and Pixie tells me she had a good sleep and is feeling better. Louis is playing with a toy piano that has almost-dead batteries, but he’s not hitting anyone with it or asking me “Why is Daisy a BAAAAAA-BEEEEEEE??” for the thousandth time today, so I’ll take it.

And Michael just sent me a tweet offering to take the two older boys Christmas shopping tonight, thus giving me at least a half-hour of quiet.

I think I might, just maybe, survive until tomorrow.








  1. Did you know tomorrow is a new moon? Call me flakey but new moons are associated with a low in physical energy? It could explain the tiredness and crabbiness of the children. It also means no yoga practice tomorrow so WINE TONIGHT YIPPEE. I suggest you have a teensy tipple too? Maybe?

    Okay, I have seen that commercial for – I believe it is called the Eggie. To me, that commercial would be better than watching some people incorporate a turkey, kale and marshmallows into a recipe. UGH. I just gagged a little.

    Now, as regards the special reindeer snack…I have to admit I sent the kids to school with gingerbread men this week, since I made them on the weekend. Along with blackberries, so you know, not a nutritionally TERRIBLE snack. Anyway, all their classmates are highly jealous. I have turned into that mom. This is awful news. Next thing you know I’ll be on pinterest. Funnily enough, one of Mark’s friends at snacktime said “Don’t eat that gingerbread man! He’s the president of Candyland!” Then his other friends started chanting “Eat him! Eat him! Eat him!” until the teacher shut that shit down. So if it makes you feel better, my cute gingerbread men a) started a riot in the style of a prison cafeteria, and b) possibly made his teacher hate me a little. I think I’ll make her Christmas gift extra nice (off to the liquor store…)

    • I don’t think the new moon thing is flakey at all, although I’d never heard that before… I know that the full moon makes the littles CRAY-CRAY even though there is no empirical evidence (and my mother tells me residents at the nursing home get squirrely around the full moon too, so there you go). It’s as good an explanation as any and also means that the nutso behaviour will end soon.

      And my kids had gingerbread men in their lunchbags all week, although we didn’t make enough cookies for sharing, because our cookies are HUGE and we are jerks. I love the story of the prison riot though. That is festive AND delightful.

      • No no no. I must explain. I ONLY sent the gingerbread men in my own kids’ snacks. I didn’t send enough to share with the class. Which makes the whole prison riot thing a little more humourous.

  2. Oh Hannah! You have honoured the spirit of Surly Thursdays PERFECTLY – it’s snarly! It’s funny! I actually coined the term quite a while ago, but thanks for assuming I only turned into a raging bitch for NaBloPoMo. I watch Chopped on the treadmill at the gym sometimes and I always want to bitch-slap the judges, but this episode definitely sounded extra nutso. I’ve never seen the thing that boils eggs without the tiresome peeling, but are we solid on thinking it’s stupid, because the peeling? It is tiresome.

    If it makes you feel any better, I’ve mostly sunken to giving Angus Boost shakes for lunch because there’s so little else he will eat.

    Best wishes for a less surly actual Thursday. World – stop dumping on my friend Hannah!

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