Posted by: Hannah | 01/15/2013

funny shit going down

So many ridiculous moments here the past couple of days. The Brigade is FUNNY, yo.

Louis is doing much better, potty-training wise. He’s got the pee thing mastered, and is no longer needing scheduled visits. We’re still working on “please don’t play with your penis while you’re sitting on the potty, lest you pee in your own eye”, but he’s getting better. And he’s not resisting any more. Today we hit a bit of a milestone in that he started to poop in his pants, and when I asked him if he needed to poop he said yes! And then ran to the potty! And after a few minutes of quiet alone time a very small poop fell out, and he peed. You need all this setup for what happened next:

“I poopded, so I need TWO SMARTIES.”
“And you peed, so you can have one for that, too!” (I was giddy with his success, clearly. Normally after a week I don’t offer the Smarties, I wait for them to ask. Nine times out of ten they’ve forgotten by the time we’re out of the bathroom).
Louis, frowning direfully: “No, I poopded. I need TWO SMARTIES.”
“But – one for the pee and two for the poop! That’s three!”
“NO I NEED TWO!”
“OK. You can have two or three. Which would you like?”
“TWO!!”

So after toilet training, we’re going to spend some more time on numbers up to five.

***

Daisy is a climber. She’s got no fear, and her balance is kind of crappy still, but climbing – OH MY STARS IT IS THE BEST. I have some small, sturdy plastic toddler chairs, and she spends the day climbing on them, standing up, and then looking at me to see if I’ll react. I’ve told her over and over again not to stand on the chairs, and I know she understands me – today I decided to let experience teach her what I could not. I moved the chairs to an area with very soft carpet and let her go nuts.

I’ve been watching her climb, stand, and fall off in slow motion for the last half hour. She never cries, or yells, or seems upset – just gamely gets up again and repeats the process. Over and over.

***

Pixie has suddenly noticed that I have a laptop. “Ah you payin’ vee-doh games?” she asked me yesterday, cheerfully. Uh oh. Clearly I’m not but that’s not the kind of thing I want her going home and reporting.

***

The kids love “Gangnam Style”. LOVE. IT. So every evening at 5PM, we have clean-up time. And if they all clean up without complaining, I will load it up and let them watch it. Last night Arthur & Daisy’s mom arrived during the dance party. “Oh,” said mom, “we change that one when we sing it. It’s got the word sexy (said in a whisper) in it. We change it to chubby.”

Because being called “chubby lady” is somehow better than being called “sexy lady”? NOT IN THIS WOMAN’S ARMY.

***

I made a big batch of homemade play-doh last week. Yesterday they were playing with it while I kept the babies amused and tidied up a bit. I glanced over to check and Pixie’s right eye was red & watering.

“Um, Pixie? What’s up with your eye?”

“Huuuurts.”

“What happened?”

“I dunno.”

I watched her for a few minutes and lo, she was busily taking lumps of dough – which is 50 per cent salt! – and ramming them into her eye. ON PURPOSE. I immediately intervened… and noticed white residue around her mouth.

“Pixie, were you eating the play-doh?”

“NO!”

“Pixie, were you eating the play-doh?”

*drops head, looks ashamed* “Yes”.

Apparently last night at dinner she drank four glasses of water and two of milk.

***
Circular logic, Louis style:

“Why is Percy green?”

“Because he is.”

“But WHY?”

“Because he’s not purple.”

“BUT WHY IS HE GREEEEEEEENNNN?????”

“I don’t know, Louis. Why are you so full of questions?”

“Because I’m NOT green.”

AND IT’S ONLY TUESDAY.

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Responses

  1. Oh, this made me laugh so much!

    1) Yay, he poopded! Too bad about the counting thing, but whatevs. HE POOPDED!
    2) I laughed thinking about Daisy the hurricane falling in slow motion. Jake was a climber but somehow he never fell off anything. I do not know why not.
    3) We all love Gangnam Style. Chubby>Sexy? Huh.
    4) Poor Pixie, she’ll be retaining water for days.

  2. What a week!
    And you’ve hit upon my personal pet peeve – whenever someone changes a word in a song to be more politically correct and it usually comes out as more offensive then had they just left it. My sister used to do this when she would sing to my kids when they were little. Pissed me off.
    Sorry for the rant:)

  3. Fun times. Or, at least fun to read about! 🙂

  4. Kids are hilarious. Owl loves Gangnam Style (the song -PH won’t let him watch the video). When he develops the ability to copy dance moves I want to recreate te video Owl Style.

  5. Also, re:word changing… why “chubby”?? It doesn’t sound anything like sexy so why not say funny lady or pretty lady? Super lady? Word changing itself annoys me but the school system almost demands it. Don’t forget that five year old who was suspended for singing “I’m sexy and I know it”. Sigh.

  6. I don’t even know where to begin. Oh, you know when you give the five-minute warning when you have to go home from somewhere? My friend once told her son “ten more minutes” and he totally did a Louis with “NO, Mommy, FIVE minutes”. I think they just like the devil they know. Are we pronouncing it Lewis or Louise? I always wonder and forget to ask.

    The Gangnam Style thing – ugh, so dumb. It’s not like you’re having them dance to Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy.


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