Posted by: Hannah | 01/30/2013

on gratitude, and a distraction

Thank you all – every one of you – for your comments on my last post. If I ever win the lottery – you know, the big one – I will take all of our SAD asses to a tropical island somewhere, for real.

The sympathy was great, and the practical suggestions even better. I’m upping my dose of Vitamin D right away – because although that probably seems obvious, I wasn’t doing it – and am researching types of SAD lights.

I feel a little weird writing posts like that last one. I’ve been down the rabbit hole of Get Off My Internets lately and I really don’t want to be one of those much-maligned mommybloggers who comes across as self-indulgent or whiny… it helps a lot though to know how many of you also find this time of year so very, very difficult.

***

Somehow this evening Michael and I got on the subject of tits; that is, are tits a platonic good? And he says “yes” and also that the only thing better than tits is, in fact, big ones.

He then told me about some video someone sent him a link to, of a woman who has boobs SO ENORMOUS that she can crush inanimate objects with them. And frankly, I thought he was kidding, or delusional, but no!

My husband, who I love very much, actually googled the phrase “woman who crushes things with her boobs” and found footage from several different versions of the “Got Talent” TV shows (America’s Got Talent! Germany’s Got Talent!) wherein women with freakishly large breasts use them as sledgehammers to smash everything from beer cans to watermelons to pieces of wood.

You know what’s most troubling? There are multiple women who do this. Really! There isn’t just one overly-endowed woman who needs to find a way to feed her family, or something – there are lots of them. They tend to not wear bras and truly, their boobs are just brain-bendingly gigantic.

So! No matter how stressful my days are, at least I do not have to use my breasts to crack open beer cans on live television.

Perspective, my friends, is everything.

 

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Responses

  1. I take Vitamin D supplements year-round, even in summer, because I think that a person can become deficient and has to work to get their levels up. Also I wear sunscreen in the summer and I’ve heard that you don’t absorb Vitamin D that way. Anyway, I double it up in the winter, which means I am currently taking an insane amount of supplements, but I swear it really does help.

    • I’m sure it probably does. You must be doing something, otherwise how could you survive a Calgary winter? :p

  2. Hahaha, oh man, I laughed so hard at this post. I have fairly huge boobs, but thankfully I have never needed to use them to smash open watermelons! Also, I read your SAD post and I send my warmest regards and sunshine. I suffer from SAD, too, and I get how hopeless one can feel ❤

    • I can honestly say that I thought I had fairly huge boobs, too. Then I saw this video. And no. I have tiny dainty boobs. Seriously. These things are just… wow.

  3. On a daily basis I take Vitamins D, C and B50 or B100. They all keep me pretty topped up and healthy throughout the year. Can’t hurt. Hope it starts to help.

    • Thanks. I’m not sure why it didn’t occur to me to try Vit D. Seems like everyone else knew that little trick. 🙂

  4. Thank you for not posting a photo to accompany this post. I, my normal sized breasts, my big brain and my average eyeballs thank you for sparing us all.

    Yes. GOMI. I can’t look away and have spent far too much time reading through the archives of…erm…aahh — arklingSpay Adventuresway blog?

    • Photo? Ppffbbbt. I was going to embed the video. Then I thought about the traffic that would generate and decided against it. :p

  5. My problem is that my boobs, while large, are also light weight and floppy. I might be able to swing them over my shoulder like a continental soldier though.


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