We have company coming this Friday. He’s staying for a few days, so naturally, he gets the guest room.
Wait, did I say ‘guest room’? I meant ‘room with a bed in it that currently serves as the dayhome nap room’.
That’s OK, they can share. He won’t be sleeping between 1PM and 3PM. No problem.
Oh, but I should make up the bed properly. Hmm, where are the pillows?? They seem to have migrated all over the house. Guess I should buy pillows. Oh, and the lovely antique quilt on the bed is beautiful, but not very warm, and since it still gets below freezing at night I should probably put another blanket on there. Hmm, the blanket situation in this house is pretty shitty, too…
*Go to store, buy comforter, two pillow shams, pillows*
OK! Time to make up the bed. No, wait, I should wash all the bedding first. And it’s a nice day, so I should hang everything out to dry, because air-dried bedding smells so good. Hey, the comforter is so big I need to do two loads of laundry to wash the bedding.
*Do two loads of laundry, hang to dry*
All right, let’s see… I should clear out some closet space. When I’m travelling I hate living out of a suitcase. Oh dear. The closet seems to be completely crammed full of Rubbermaid storage tubs and cardboard boxes. That’s… huh.
Ah, the Rubbermaid tubs are full of Christmas decorations! Well, I can easily move those. I’ll put them in the downstairs front hallway. That’s a pretty good storage area.
Huh, the front hallway is full of… empty cardboard boxes. Some are from two Christmases ago.
*Drag empty boxes out into front yard for later crushing & bundling*
What’s this behind the boxes? Paint cans! All the colours of the house. And we’ve painted the upstairs not once but twice. That’s… a lot of paint. And rollers! And trays! OK. I’ll put all this in the hallway closet. Oh, what is in here? The old futon mattress? I could have sworn we threw that out after the Senile Old Lady Cat peed in it.
*Drag incredibly heavy and smelly futon mattress out of house, across lawn, to the end of the driveway where it can sit until garbage day on Wednesday*
*Move one million paint cans & other painting paraphernalia into closet*
*Neatly stack all boxes of Christmas decorations in front of closet*
Return to guest room closet. Realize that all the remaining boxes – three large cardboard boxes, two small ones, and a 45-gallon Rubbermaid bin on wheels are actually all full of yet more fucking stuff belonging to father-in-law, dead now for three and a half years.
Open boxes. Get incredibly pissed off that so much useless shit got saved. Stomp around in a funk for awhile. Finally decide to stash them in other places about the house depending on their actual, and I use this term loosely, sentimental value. So the box full of generic plaques marking years of service in the Rotary Club are in a non-climate controlled & rather damp storage room off the garage, whereas the box full of ship service plaques from a career in the Canadian Navy go in husband’s game room.
Finally finish clearing out closet sometime mid-afternoon. Give up on the rest.
Finish workday, realize that you’ve done exactly NOTHING ELSE IN THE WHOLE HOUSE ALL DAY. And all you have to show for a day’s worth of frustration and heavy lifting is a clothesline full of bedding, stacks of empty boxes, and one empty closet behind a closed door in a room that almost never gets used except by sleeping preschoolers.
Next morning, make the bed.