It’s like 2006, because everyone on Facebook is suddenly posting lists of random things about themselves as their status updates.
I loved 2006, man! Internet memes were the best.
Nicole took her list to her blog, and offered to give a number to anyone who wanted to play. She’s asked me for a list of nine things. NINE. She’s got more faith in my ability to talk about myself than I do.
- I have an unhealthy fascination with terrible shows on TLC. (Remember when “TLC” stood for “The Learning Channel”? Yeah. Wow.) I’ve watched more than one
episodeseason of 19 Kids and Counting, Little People Big World, Hoarding: Buried Alive, Sister Wives, and The Little Couple. The hate-watch them all. I know they are all heavily-scripted tripe about largely unsympathetic outliers in their own communities (maybe not that last one) and yet I can’t seem to look away. I knew I’d reached a new nadir of personal shame when I caught five minutes of their “newest hit” Extreme Cheapskates – people who are so repulsively (and compulsively) addicted to saving a few pennies that they will eat canned cat food instead of tuna fish or put their clothes into someone else’s machine at the laundromat. I did regain my sanity and change the channel… but I did click on it in the first place.
- Most evenings when all my lady-friends on Twitter are talking about #wine, and I’m agreeing cheerfully, I’m actually drinking #beer. If I just sit down and drink a glass of wine, I get logy and pre-drunk after about one glass. If I drink two glasses, I wake up with a headache.
- I love things to be tidy, but my own bedroom is always a mess. Like the ‘before’ shot in those home-organization shows where the hapless homeowner says they want their bedroom to be “an oasis” or “a retreat” but first they need to get rid of 10 baskets of clothes no one wears and a piece of ugly heirloom furniture from their mother-in-law.
- I over-analyze children’s cartoons to keep myself amused when I’m sharing TV time with the kids. Thus my theory that Nonny from Bubble Guppies is meant to represent a child on the autism spectrum, or my annoyance that sharks are “bad” on The Octonauts while all other forms of ocean life need saving.
- I am a total snob about coffee. I brew a pot every morning from this local coffee roaster even though it costs a small fortune. It’s so bad now that when I have one of my sudden fits of Imperative Frugality and buy something cheaper, I am filled with regret and acid indigestion until Michael takes pity on me and brings home another bag of the good stuff. This cycle repeats every four to six months.
- In my entire life I’ve had two professional pedicures and one manicure. I love them but can’t ever justify the expense to myself.
- My preferred method of Christmas decorating is “the more, the merrier”. Sterile, all-white decor themes just leave me cold. Give me lots of red, green, silver, gold. Jolly snowmen. Santas. ONE MILLION LIGHTS. When you watch National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation you’re supposed to mock Clark Griswold’s exterior lights, but every year I just think wow, I wish I could do that.
- I haven’t watched Saturday Night Live since the mid-90s. I don’t know if that makes me culturally irrelevant or a hipster.
- Love Actually is one of my favourite Christmas movies to watch alone with a glass of Bailey’s and a cuddly blanket. This past week was the 10th anniversary of its release and all of a sudden it was The Thing to tear it to pieces – and I actually had to stop myself from entering into passionate and irrational defense of it. People, I get it. The Keira Knightley / Andrew Lincoln storyline is kind of questionable and also now that I am a big fan of The Walking Dead I suspect that I will give Rick Grimes showing up to steal his best friend’s wife even more of a side-eye than I used to, but Colin Firth! Hugh Grant in probably his last delightfully-charming leading man role! Alan Rickman even if he does play a giant dickhead! LIAM NEESON, people!
Whew. OK. Anyone want to play? Leave a comment and I’ll give you a number between 5 and 10.