Without a whole lot of preamble, we carry on!
Although I do want to say this, in response to Nan’s comment on yesterday’s post – I tried to find pictures of the Scott brothers individually, in case her hypothesis is correct and they are less frightening separately. I had NO LUCK finding such a thing. On the internet! In a world where Rule # 34 is a thing, I think this is probably proof that they aren’t human but are instead some kind of interdependent cyborgs.
Number 7 – Justin Timberlake
Here’s the thing – I like Justin Timberlake, although I like his movies better than his music. He just oozes charisma. He’s very funny, and he likes to laugh at himself, which is just about the sexiest trait there is. I’ve watched Friends With Benefits twice because he was just so darned adorable in it.
He can also be smoking hot though too, which is a bonus. You can’t tell from that picture, but you can from this one:
There he is, doing what he loves, just throwing himself into it with a big smile on his face. That, ladies, is attractive.
Number 8 – Chris Pine
*shakes self out of reverie*
Chris Pine is of course the new James T. Kirk in the Star Trek reboot. I have very mixed feelings about the movies – especially the last one, ugh – but my feelings for Chris are not conflicted at all. He’s just lovely.
Number 9 – Pharrell Williams
Again with the “who?”
This I don’t get at all. His ears are lopsided. That jacket gives me hives. He wrote or produced or some damn thing Blurred Lines and as Nan pointed out, he talks about himself in the third person which automatically sets off my “giant douchebag” alarm.
This is more flattering, certainly:
I still don’t see it. Bad choice, People. I approve of the fact that I think for the first time EVER you have a list with two men of colour and neither of them is Denzel Washington, which probably signals that the apocalypse is nigh… but he actively turns me off, this guy.
Number 10 – Ronan Farrow
So, I’ve been following Ronan Farrow on Twitter for a few months now, because he’s smart, funny, and informed. It’s hard to express opinions on contentious issues in 140 character bursts, but he does it. He’s worth a look.
His name used to be Satchel, back when his mom Mia was still married to Woody Allen and the world hadn’t found out yet that Woody didn’t just play a creepy weirdo in the movies.
He changed his name to Ronan and this year his own mother started the rumour that he is actually Frank Sinatra’s son, not Woody’s.
Ronan, I realize you’re only 25 and that makes it wrong, but you are in fact sexy. Approve.
Number 11 – Justin Theroux
Why are you on this list, person who looks vaguely like a less self-satisfied Rob Lowe? *checks* Oh, I see – you’re Jennifer Aniston’s current man. And according to People, you write “hilarious movies”, although they neglect to mention what any of them are.
In that picture he looks like a young Freddie Prinze Jr. I’m so confused by you, Justin Theroux. You are a cipher. You are filling in the space next to Aniston in pictures now. I do not find you sexy.
Number 12 – David Beckham
Are we still talking about David Beckham?
Here’s the thing – David Beckham was a stellar athlete – once. When he was actually playing soccer and that’s all he was doing, I loved to watch him. But now he’s all married-to-Posh-Spice and father-of-four and I can’t forget that. Plus in that picture he really does look like Joey Tribbiani doing “smell the fart” acting.
I can appreciate that he is very very fit. That is a nice six-pack. That picture is also (I think) about ten years old. I just don’t understand how he got on this list at all, because I question his current relevance. Is he launching another fragrance, or something?
People Magazine has never missed the mark so many times for me. Where is my Chris Hemsworth? (He’s on a separate list, “sexiest siblings”, with his little brother Liam.) Why are all the photographs so terrible? The write-ups seemed even more lightweight and cheesy this year (did you know one of their reasons for choosing Justin Theroux is that he “loves a good flea market find?” GEE TURN ON THE SEXY TIMES, PLEASE.)
I guess maybe I’m too old? Or too jaded? Or too endowed with actual eyeballs? I don’t know.
Your thoughts? Am I just dead inside? Or is People’s editorial staff now composed solely of frustrated j-school grads under 30, and times have moved on?