Posted by: Hannah | 02/24/2014

February, your time is nearly done

On Saturday night the kids all fell asleep early, thanks to a day of running around in the fresh, suddenly-feels-like-spring air. We went to our favourite heritage farm museum, and it was one of those days where you suddenly remember just why you had a passel of children. The boys were all cheerful, polite, and engaged. George in particular was over the moon at all the new things to see and do. It turns out he still doesn’t like pigs – in books they are pink and say “oink”, making the bristly grunting mad-eyed reality that much more intimidating – but horses and cows are just fine. And sheep! Sheep are The Bomb. He kept returning to the sheepfold and trying to count them. “One… two… free… four… five… plenty! PLENTY SHEEPS MOMMY!” And then he’d ask me why they weren’t saying “baaa”.

From there we went to my parents’ for tea and a visit, then back toward home after detours for drive-thru kids’ meals and the weekly grocery shopping. By the time they were all in bed they were exhausted, and even Harry went to sleep with minimal resistance.

Because the kids were actually asleep, we decided to watch a movie. “You choose something,” said Michael, “and I’ll go pick us up some dinner.” I spent a half hour scrolling through the various OnDemand options, open on my laptop. I damn well wasn’t choosing ANYTHING this time without getting some critics’ opinions first; our last two “this might be interesting” choices turned out to be awful, awful art-house pieces by extremely earnest young female directors.

When he got home I said “OK, we’ve got The Dark Knight Rises, which we still haven’t seen despite liking the first two movies in the trilogy, or The Cabin in the Woodswhich has good reviews and also looks fun. Oh, and it’s only an hour and a half instead of TWO HOURS AND FORTY FIVE MINUTES, da fuck is wrong with you, Christopher Nolan. Cabin has [mumble] Chris Hemsworth [mumble] in it so can I get you a beer?”

My poor, long-suffering husband heard the bit about Hemsworth and decided he wasn’t really in the headspace to watch me get all squishy over another man, so Dark Knight it was!

Oh my goodness what a terrible, incomprehensible mishmash of a movie. “For a movie about Batman,” said Michael at about the 90-minute mark, “there really isn’t much Batman actually on the screen”. I couldn’t defend it. I was too busy trying to figure out what the fuck Bane was saying, like, ever. Why, with all the neat villains to choose from, did Chris Nolan decide to go with the one who wears a mask covering his mouth and nose all the goddamn time? Listening to Bane talk was like dealing with the order box at the drive-thru window, except for nearly three hours.

So at some point during the movie I gave up trying to understand it and asked Twitter what we should have watched. And lo, I should have asked them first because everyone said Dark Knight was a steaming pile of marble-mouthed ass, but that Cabin was funny, smart, scary, and as aforementioned had Hemsworth so WHAT WAS I THINKING??

What, indeed.

Today marks the start of “90s music week” on CBC’s online music streaming service. They’ve put up this playlist and it’s pretty much the best thing ever. Bush! Oasis! Gwen Stefani before she went all Hollaback Girl! Right now it’s Ace of Base and if there is anything finer than Swedish pop, I don’t want to know what it is.









  1. Hope you give Cabin in the Woods a try sometime. I liked it. It was smart and not a typical horror movie. Also I’m a Joss Whedon fan, and this movie had a lot of Joss influence.

    Not to criticize your movie night choice – had I been faced with the same options, batman rises would have been my first pick. But Cabin in the Woods is a good second pick, maybe if you can get your kids to fall asleep again 🙂

    • I’m planning to watch it this week – maybe Friday night. If only I could stay up later than 10PM! But for that to happen my two year old would have to stop thinking that 5AM is a perfectly acceptable wake-up time.

      I love my kids but MAN, they cramp my style. 😉

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