It’s only 10AM and I’ve already seen two things that were legitimately creepy (to me, anyway) so I thought I’d share while people’s pumpkins are still cheerfully rotting on their doorsteps.
First up, this story from the Digby Courier, a weekly paper out of Sou’West Nova Scotia: “Halloween Trick-or-Treaters Find Body“.
CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE OMGGGGGGGGG.
I am a very suggestible person. I spent most of my childhood convinced that all mythical and imaginary creatures existed, including happy ones like fairies and horrible ones like the earthbound spirits of the restless dead. My childhood home was on a thickly-wooded property, up a long twisty dirt driveway that none of my friends’ parents liked driving up after dark. I cannot tell you how many times I hiked up that driveway, right in the middle so as to be away from the Spooky Trees where an escaped mental patient with a hook for a hand was certainly lurking, ready to grab the unwary. Heart pounding, breath coming fast, sometimes singing tunelessly to try and keep my spirits up.
That walk only took two minutes. Five, if it had snowed and I needed to break a trail. But I swear there were several occasions where I damn near frightened myself right into a heart attack, peopling the woods with unimaginable horrors, some out of Stephen King novels and others out of my own head.
The weeks before Halloween always cranked my fear up to eleven. We trick or treated along poorly-lit rural roads, creeping up other driveways just as long and scary as my own, standing on crumbling doorsteps waiting for the door to open. I always had low-level terror on Halloween night – honestly, it was part of the fun! – but I’m here to tell you, if I were out with a friend, just the two of us at age 13 like the boys in the Digby story, and we found an honest to god no fooling holy shit DEAD BODY in the road… well. The least-upsetting thing that would happen is that I would wet my pants, let’s just say that.
Also this morning someone sent me a link to this bizarre story out of Japan. It’s about robots. Oh, Japan. Constantly making robots but doing not nearly enough to clean up after the Fukushima disaster.
Seriously, isn’t that freaky? I always wonder what Japanese robotics designers are thinking. (Probably that they got into robotics to do Awesome World-Changing Things, and instead they are programming dead-eyed humanoids to sell coffeemakers to people who apparently need help to make even the most basic of life decisions).
For me, robotics technology should have stopped with the Roomba. Going back to Breaking Bad, but the episode where Jesse had probably the world’s most over-the-top house party and the next morning the sturdy little Roomba was doing its best, vacuuming up potato chip crumbs while ricocheting off the limp bodies of partied-out junkies? probably one of the finest robot-related videos I’ve ever seen. That little guy was getting results.
Otherwise, robots = bad.