Last winter, over Christmas break, we took the boys to see Frozen. It was still newish then. You couldn’t buy any merchandise in stores. Little girls weren’t bursting into song every five minutes. It was entirely possible to spend time browsing on YouTube without running into either a parody of Let It Go, or some wanna-be Idina Menzel belting it out while over-emoting.
Hell, a lot of people had never even heard of Idina Menzel.
Anyway, I enjoyed the movie and recommended it to lots of people. I liked it. My kids liked it. It was good fun.
Fast-forward to now and OH MY GOD I HATE THAT MOVIE SO MUCH.
As I said to someone on Twitter this morning, if you don’t have a little girl under 10 in your life to ruin it for you, it’s still a good movie. But if you do, you just want Elsa and Anna and Kristoff and that fucking snowman to die in a fire.
The reindeer can live. The reindeer is silent.
Someone who will need to sleep with one eye open if I ever find out where they live bought Daisy the movie on DVD for her birthday. Over the Christmas holidays she watched it a lot. So much. And now she won’t stop pretending to be Elsa.
We have a black velvet cape in our dress-up box. Every morning when Daisy she arrives, she makes a beeline for it. She insists that I put it on her. She won’t take it off. (We’ve had some discussions about sharing because the cape is a treasured item here.) She pouts when the boys won’t call her Princess Elsa. She tried to climb a bookcase the other day because she said it was the stairs to her castle.
Yesterday the singing started. She does not know all the words to Let It Go. She knows this much:
yet it go, yet it gooooo, you nevered see my cyyyyyyy
Today was the usual pattern. Arrive. Demand cape. Ask me to shift her ponytail to the side. Sing. Sing sing sing. yet it go, yet it gooooooo… and then something different! George chimed in. Then Louis.
Daisy immediately lost her ever-loving mind.
NO. NOOOOOOOO. MY ELSA! MY YAM ELSA AN’ ELSA IS SINGIN’ AN’ YOU AH NOT SINGIN’ NOOOOOO.
She wouldn’t stop yelling at them. She was moving from yelling into shrieking. They were yelling back. It was getting rotten.
I had to step in. I gently reminded her that anyone is allowed to sing. She refuted this. I pointed out that when friends sing together it is more fun. She was not at home to that idea. I said that it was fun to pretend to be Elsa and that everyone was allowed to pretend things.
Cue meltdown number two.
MY AM ELSA! MY NOT PRETENNING! MY AM ELSA AN’ DEY AH NOT ELSA!
She then cried, brokenhearted & thwarted, for the better part of ten minutes.
In summation, I hate that movie and I crushed a three-year-old’s dreams.
Best. Dayhome. Ever.