Posted by: Hannah | 11/16/2015

day 16

Remember a few days ago when I talked about how George is manipulating me with his tears and rages?

Well, dayhome kid Charlie – age 2.5 years old – is pulling the same stuff with his mother, only on a much bigger scale.

Last week we collectively decided to try potty training. He showed all the signs; pulling his own pants on and off, knowing how to wash his hands with limited assistance, staying dry for long stretches, telling me when he had pooped.

I also have, over the years, developed an allergy to training three year olds. Seriously, it’s the fucking worst. Threenagers are the most stubborn, irrational, difficult creatures on the planet, in my opinion, and I have vowed to never, ever again potty-train one.

You leave it until three, parents, you’re on your own. I take two weeks off every summer. Feel free to do it then.

Anyway, we started on Thursday morning in a limited fashion. He did pretty well. We made him a sticker chart and went shopping for stickers of Charlie’s choosing (sports-themed). By mid-afternoon he’d peed in the potty once, and got the sticker – so he understood the process. Friday morning he pooped in the potty and I was pretty confident that his parents would have some success with him over the weekend.

They did not.

I would love to have a hidden camera in their house, so I could see the process. His mom told dire tales of 45 minutes on the potty with no results, followed five minutes later by accidents. She also confessed that whenever they left the house they put a diaper on him (NO NO NO!) and he promptly then filled it, every time. She even claimed that she went to check on him last night before she went to bed and that he murmured my don’ YIKE da potty in his sleep, although I have my doubts about that one.

Anyway, she dropped him off this morning wearing a diaper (NO NO NO NOOOOO!) and said that when she tried to put him on the potty this morning that he screamed and wrapped his legs around her waist in an effort to avoid the process. She was in tears telling me she was afraid she’d given him a complex about toileting that would last for his whole life.

I said I’d give it a gentle try, and see how he did.

Well.

A half hour after drop off, he cheerfully peed in the potty. An hour later, he did it again. And then again an hour after that. His one accident today was a poop, and I caught him in the act; I whisked him on to the potty and said “now, you finish up here!” expecting nothing, and then he did!

Every time he yelled “Hannah, MY PEED AGIN!!!!” and then did a little dance.

He is doing wonderfully well, totally understands what is required of him, and every time he goes the process is quicker – we’re finishing in a couple of minutes now. He always knows when he’s done, too.

So.

What have we learned? We’ve learned that children are terrible beings bent on crushing our spirits and bringing about our destruction.

 

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Responses

  1. OH CHARLIE. What a little turkey. Well, at least he’s cooperating for you, am I right?

  2. It’s amazing how they instinctively push their parents’ buttons…yet not another caregiver’s. It must be something about our [parents’] emotional investment.

  3. Oh my! This is classic.

    It reminds me of the toddler who follows his Mum from room to room and then throws himself on the floor to cry, but only where he can be seen. Do you remember that little video?

    Ugh!

    Also, “threenagers” made me laugh. Godspeed!

  4. Yeah. Maybe Charlie’s mom can take G. to swimming lessons. 🙂

  5. Threenagers – perfect.

  6. Kids are monsters. Such a shame that cute little babies transform into demons.


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