Posted by: Hannah | 03/16/2016

halfway home

It’s almost 2pm on March Break Wednesday, which I’m choosing to call the halfway point – especially since the kids had a snow day last Friday. They’ve been home for so many days, you guys. So many. Then next week they’re home on Friday for Easter… and then the following Monday… and then the Friday after that, too.

It’s the time of year when I look at the kids and think to myself HOLY CRAP ARE YOU HERE AGAIN???? I can’t help it. Why are they never in school? It’s a question for the ages.

However, it’s not going too badly. Charlie is home all week and New Girl (still needs a name! I need to spend some time on that) only comes in the afternoons, so all morning I have just my own guys plus 4.5 year old Daisy. We’ve been going on outings every day, coming home just in time for lunch and yoga, and then the girls nap while I play video games with my boys.

The only downside that I can see is all the damnable interacting with the seething masses of humanity that come out of the woodwork during March Break. I am so introverted out right now I could cry. Or at least hide in my room binge-watching The Office and refusing to speak to anyone.

Monday was OK; it was cold but sunny, and we spent the morning at a big playground in town. I mostly sat on a bench in the sunshine while the kids played. After nap we used marshmallows as stamps to make shamrock pictures. I made dinner and did laundry and take that, March Break, I got this.

Yesterday we went to Home Depot for one of those kids’ building project workshops. This is the picture that convinced us it would be a good idea:

Please note the two store employees to three kids ratio.

Please note the 2 store employees to 3 kids ratio.

In reality, it looked more like this:

Runners trip and fall ahead of the bulls blocking the entrance of the bullring during the running of the bulls of the San Fermin festival, in Pamplona, Spain, Saturday, July 13, 2013. A total of 21 people have been injured, two by gorings, as thousands of daredevils raced through the crowded streets of Pamplona in a hair-raising running of the bulls that ended in a crush on Saturday. (AP Photo/Joseba Etxeberria)

They had space for 48 kids, or so they claimed. What they actually meant was that they had 48 little wooden kits, but not 48 hammers, bottles of glue, or workspaces.

They didn’t even have tables – they propped standard sheets of aspenite up on empty plastic buckets and got the kids to sit on the floor. That worked for maybe 20 kids (10 per “table”, and they only had two tables) so everyone else was sitting on piles of drywall, or sprawled out in the aisles. Also, do you know what happens when 10 enthusiastic kids all start hammering nails at once on table with no rigidity or center support? Tiny little finishing nails fly everywhere, never to be seen again, and of course Home Depot didn’t provide extra nails, they’re only a freaking hardware store, why are we asking for the impossible?

There were lots of employees around. Lots! They had very important jobs!

  • employee one: making sure every kid wrote their name on a sign-up sheet
  • employee two: telling every parent “make sure you follow the directions”
  • employee three: distributing hammers until they ran out of hammers; then saying “we have no more hammers”
  • employees four & five: standing next to the paper plates and bottles of paint
  • employees six & seven: walking around with a clipboard writing down suggestions for how to make things more organized for next time

Did you notice how none of these employees were actually *helping* the kids put their kits together? Did you notice that the number was “zero”?

Fortunately Harry and Ron were pretty much capable of handling the process with only minimal guidance, so I only had Daisy and George to contend with. Still, it was more hands-on for me than I was expecting, because of THAT PICTURE OF LIES.

Seriously they should be goddamn sued.

Seriously they should be goddamn sued.

Today we went to the natural history museum, even though Halifax is enjoying a torrential downpour. It wasn’t out and out awful, although my judgey-mommy side-eye was working overtime, let me tell you.

Case in point: there is a comfortable and clean lunchroom area in the museum. No one ever uses it. Instead they perch on the radiators (??) in the main lobby area and eat. I have no idea why, but today it was even worse than usual, and then one kid poured an entire apple juice box into one of the radiators somehow and hey! ever smelled burnt apple juice combined with the aroma of wet hair? No?

It’s a piquant bouquet, I’ll say that.

Anyway, I have two more days to get through and the weather is supposed to be kind of sketchy, so while I’m hoping we can get out again I’m not 100% confident. Cross your fingers for me that I can make it until Saturday! And also that a rumoured Monday snowstorm turns out to be bullshit because SERIOUSLY, TINY HUMANS, GO TO SCHOOL.

 

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Responses

  1. Ugh. March break here is two weeks long so we are only half way through the first week. But we put him in a camp for the first week because we are terrible parents. Next week is going to be non-stop play dates.

    • If we had decent camps that weren’t a logistical nightmare for pickup / dropoff, I would probably have put mine in… I’ll certainly have to look into it for next year. I’ll have at least one and maybe two under two, and that really limits outing options.

  2. I am so very resentful that we even have March break and that they dare to call it Spring Break. March is the most horrible month here – tons of rain, cold, windy, just miserable. I’ve run the gamut: put the kids in camps, stayed home, taken family vacations. By far the best is taking a vacation somewhere far far away where it’s warm and dry, but that is also radically expensive and not in our budget to do every year. Camps are ok, but the kids come home wet and cold and then inevitably get sick and I have to stay home to take care of them and then I get sick and all is ashes.

    This year I’m staying home and I will probably hate it come Wednesday when it’s cold, rainy, and miserable and the kids start attacking each other and there is nothing to do. It would be infinitely better for us to have a few four day weekends in March and leave the week (+) long break until actual Spring – like end of April. Basically I have no point other than I’m dreading Spring Break next week. BAH.

  3. I loved this post! I have never experienced the Home Depot fun, and now I never will. I hope you at least got to see Gus.


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