Posted by: Hannah | 11/17/2016

wilting on my fainting couch

Oh, November. How do I hate thee.

The weather has been mild, at least, so that’s something, but two weeks ago now I came down with a cold and basically my entire immune system said “you know, we work too hard, really” and folded like a cheap suit.

The first week I could only function if I took Advil Cold & Sinus every 5 hours (no, not a sponsored post, I just like the stuff). The second week the coughing started, and now my sleep is interrupted every night by fits of pointless tubercular hacking. This week just for fun I also had some kind of half-assed gastrointestinal complaint that didn’t make me sick enough to just go to bed but did make me cranky and miserable.

It’s been raining a lot, the world is doing that gray-brown-yellowish November thing, Leonard Cohen died, America somehow managed to elect a racist tangerine to be their next President and George has decided he doesn’t want to go to Disney for Christmas, he’d rather “stay home and have peace & quiet”, which is some bullshit because he talks from 6:30AM until 7:30PM so “peace & quiet” not something that ever exists in his living space, but whatever.

There’s a teacher’s strike looming, my kids are learning violin, trombone, and recorder so I’m fantasizing about losing my hearing, my house is a mess and I need a new bathing suit before next Saturday.

There.

That’s it. I won’t complain anymore. Everything on this list is stupid and petty, and I know that it is, but right now I don’t feel like I have any place to vent or anyone to vent to. I will either be spouting White Lady Problems in an echo chamber of far worse things, or I’ll be talking to someone who immediately wants to turn it into the tragedy Olympics, or I’ll accidentally be talking to someone who actually has much more serious problems right now and thus I’ll be insensitive.

Five weeks from this very moment I’ll be at Disney, and since I’ve wanted to go there my whole life this is very exciting. Going to focus on that, not the recalcitrant child currently complaining that I won’t let him go blow all of his carefully-saved money on an overpriced Paw Patrol playset he’ll never use.

 

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Responses

  1. Every time I think about Leonard Cohen dying I start crying again, but that paragraph immediately then had me laughing with G and his plea for peace and quiet. Hannah! You made crappy stuff funny! Surly Thursday is back! *throws confetti*


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